Ms Ilda, I Love My Colonial Mentality!

MANILA: Note: I am a Filipino, a full-blooded Ilocano from Eastern Pangasinan in Central Luzon in the Philippines. I am 76, and I have a senior’s grudge over a junior mentality like that of Ms Ilda who has given her unforgiving opinion, “Duterte wants Filipinos to eliminate their colonial mentality” (10 September 2016, getrealphilippines.com). She doesn’t even have the guts to give her full name. This is my birth month, and I vowed last month not to write for the first 17 days of September but, for God’s sake, she made me do it.

To begin with, Ms Ilda, where are you coming from? Either those who don’t speak American English well (I don’t), or those who don’t write it well, are the ones who are ashamed of their colonial mentality. I am not. I am rather very proud of it.

The single person I love the most when it comes to imagination and innovation is American: Steve Jobs. Where is your imagination, Ms Ilda? Yours is both an excoriation and an excuse. It is made up of logical fallacies such as name-calling, shooting the messenger, and nonsequitur. You can’t even write an original piece.

I am an inveterate PC user. I can’t live without the PC! Who essentially invented the personal computer? Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Americans. I can’t live without the mouse either. Who introduced the mouse to the PC world? Steve Jobs. Who is the genius in marketing? Steve Jobs. I love what he famously said, something like, “The consumers don’t know what they want until they see it.” I must be an intractable consumer of Rodrigo Duterte because I know I don’t want what I see.

I love blogging (via American Google’s Blogger) and posting in social media (American Facebook). Except that lately, on Facebook I have been clicking “Hide post” when I see the face that launched a thousand hates.

I love writing and my apps are: operating system Windows 10 (American Microsoft), high-end word processing Word 2013 (American Microsoft), and photo works Picasa (American Google).

My cellphone is local, my|phone 81, but of course it’s a clone of the American. The icons are American; the instructions are American. Even the name is American. Ha!

My preferred language of speaking is Ilocano; my preferred language of writing is American English.

I first became conscious of my colonial mentality when I was in high school yet. Yes, I noticed Juan C Laya’s Diwang Ginto series and I loved them, but I loved the American westerns, American literature more than the literature of my country the Philippines.

Of all my more than 100 blogs, none of them has a Filipino-sounding name. Today, I love among others my A Magazine Called Love, Primate Change, iWord Affairs, and Suburban Dictionary.

Even my latest laptop is American; the name is Lenovo and it was manufactured in China, but inside and outside, touchscreen, it’s all American: IBM.

My presidential heroes are American: Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy. I owe Lincoln the best definition of democracy: a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. And Kennedy my beset quote of patriotism: “Ask not what your country can do for you; rather, ask what you can do for your country.” I don’t think you subscribe to that, Ms Ilda.

My favorite movie series is American: Star Wars. It deals with the outside world, and the inner. Your Duterte? He deals with the outside world.

My favorite Bible translation is the New Revised Standard Version, which was published in 1989 by the National Council of Churches, American. Do you read the Bible, Ms Ilda? I am Roman Catholic.

I am an Ilocano; I know Tagalog, but I love the English language more, American.

I studied in the college that was established in 1908 by immigrants, Americans of course. This is the College of Agriculture of the University of the Philippines, of which names themselves are American in origin. The modern images you see above are right in front of the Art Café right on campus of UP Los Baños. Colonial mentality is alive and well in Los Baños!

I have published 10 books, all written in the English language, American of course.

I studied to be a teacher; even now, when I teach, it’s in American English.

I don’t watch TV anymore, because the local shows are stultifying to me. Instead, I surf the Internet, visit my email (American of course, Google’s Gmail) and read American magazines online: WIRED, The New Yorker, Atlantic, New York Review of Books, and Fast Company. Great contemporary writing! American, of course.

One of my favorite books up to now is Frank L Baum’s The Wizard of Oz, American of course. I love the metaphors of the Yellow Brick Road and those of the lion who has no courage, the scarecrow who has no brain, and the tin woodman who has no heart. You may have courage, Ms Ilda, and a brain, but I doubt if you have a heart!

My favorite printer is an HP Deskjet 1515, American. I try to print only the constructive, not the destructive ideas.

Everyday I sit on a chair when I blog or surf the Internet, and I call it by an American name, of course: Executive Chair.

I am one of the fastest typist you can find on Earth, especially if I’m using Word 2013 with its Autocorrect and related features, which I have programmed. And who invented the typewriter keyboard that computers still use? Christopher Latham Sholes, American of course.

When I go to the grocery store, what do I ask for? “Brown and Creamy” (Nescafe), “dark chocolate” (Toblerone), “ice cream” (Magnolia) and “ice cream bar" (Magnum, Selecta). The products may not be American, but I cannot identify them except in the American language.

When I was in Grade 1 almost 70 years ago, I learned “Good morning, Mrs Bautista” and “I run to the door.” American English of course.

I went to a high school named Rizal Junior College (HS Dept) in my hometown of Asingan; what more could I ask for? I loved the RJC library, full of American books. And the Reader's Digest, and TIME Magazine. I still love the Reader's Digest; I have outgrown my love for TIME but not American English.

My favorite camera right now is Japanese, a Panasonic digital Lumix FZ100 with superzoom, Japanese-made, but the instructions are of course in English, American.

I repeat, I am an Ilocano. The Ilocanos love colonial mentality! You notice that when you travel in the Ilocos Region, the boundary arch says, “Welcome” and at the back of it, “God bless”? Either you have not been travelling or not been watching. Go visit an Ilocano home in the Ilocos Region, and the doormat that greets has only one word, and it is American of course: Welcome. And signs everywhere of little business establishments: Eatery, Bakery, Merchandise, Station, Grocery, Store, Market, School, Street, School Zone, For Rent, For Hire, Detour, One Way, Waiting Shed, No Parking, No Speeding etc. American English of course.

What do I call these things now? American names of course: table lamp, switch, LED, projector, slides, PowerPoint, electric fan, TV, radio, headset, call, text, cellphone, phone, address etc.

I say, “Close the door.” Or “Open the light.” Or, “Give me my red hat.” Or, “Anything to eat?”

I use bond paper, ball pen, notebook, face mask, ruler, battery charger, Triple A, cup, table, bed, calendar, hammer, pliers, screw driver, hanger and toilet, among other American terms.

The lyrics that comes to mind right now is, “You must remember this / A kiss is still a kiss.” From the song “As Time Goes By” that is an original by Sam (Dooley Wilson), sung in the Hollywood movie Casablanca starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, “an undisputed masterpiece and perhaps Hollywood’s quintessential statement on love and romance” (rottentomatoes.com). I don’t remember a Tagalog movie that is a shadow of that great one.

And my favorite singer? Frank Sinatra, American playboy.

My birthday is the same as that of the Signing of the US Constitution, and it’s still the greatest Constitution as far as I am concerned. But I would love to have Federalism in my country. See? Even the name of the concept is American: Federalism.

My favorite lexicon is the American Heritage Dictionary of the English language, so what else is new? I love my colonial mentality!

And why do you, Ms Ilda, write in American English? I hate double standards. And why do you condemn Filipino journalists? I hate crab mentality.